Fat Girl Gone Healthy

I just had a really good weightlifting session at the gym.   I had some sort of breakthrough that I can’t quite explain.   I had just completed my set of dead-lifts and a light bulb went off in my head. I suddenly realized that I am a bad-ass can do it.   I can be strong.  I can be confident.  I can be me.

You see, I’ve never believed in myself.   I was always mediocre in anything I did which resulted in a lack of passion.  I didn’t really care to try new things because I was going to be a lame-ass anyway.  So, I sat on my ass watching TV, sulking in my bottomless pit of self-hatred, and getting fatter, sicker.

I work with a personal trainer once a week. I give him a lot of grief.  I give him dirty looks, curse, and complain with a dash of sarcasm.  It’s a defense mechanism.  I’m fully aware of that.  I’m often not convinced I can do certain things.  Sometimes I can’t do them.  But the next time or the time after that I can.  My brain doesn’t understand that you will never know if you can do something unless you try it.  I think it’s time for my perspective to change. I can do it.

I signed up for my gym membership 2.5 years ago.   It took this freaking long for the light bulb to go off.   It’s shining brightly now.   Oh, and I am a bad-ass.

Have you had a breakthrough along your path to a healthier you?